Chris Dodds advocates a positive non-violent parenting style where respect for the child as a person is the underlying principle
If parents in Denmark , Finland , Norway , and Sweden don't have to hit their children in order for them to respect others and to be socially skilled - what is wrong in the UK ? And why on earth would a group of Christian schools appeal 'their right' to bring back corporal punishment?
There are endless issues that concern and divide parents but none are more emotive than the debate on corporal punishment. There is growing pressure on the government to put an end to the archaic defence of "reasonable chastisement" which gives parents the right to hit their children, a right which the health select and joint committee on human rights says excuses violence against children.
People who want to see the law changed believe that hitting children breaches their fundamental right to physical integrity and human dignity. A change in the law would not mean parents would be prosecuted for 'mild smacks' and it is recommended that reform would be accompanied by public education on positive alternatives to smacking with a range of support for parents. A MORI survey for the NSPCC in Feb 2002 found that provided parents were not prosecuted for 'trivial smacks' 58% of people in England and Wales support changing the law to give children protection from being hit.
There is obviously a difference between a mild smack and physical abuse leading to injury or death, and it is argued, that the majority of parents know the difference. Clearly not all smacking leads to abuse, but there is evidence that small slaps can escalate to harder hitting. David Hinchcliffe, chairman of the Commons health select committee, described the torture and murder of eight-year-old Victoria Climbié as an escalation of discipline and punishment that had started with slaps. Reformers consider that changing the law to end physical punishment is a crucial preventative measure to reduce child abuse. Retaining the law of reasonable chastisement severely undermines the work of social workers and other professionals who promote non-violent parenting.
The usual argument for smacking is that nothing else works or that it is the only language some children understand. But how can society continue to believe illogically that hitting children is proper behaviour modification when hitting another adult is regarded as criminal assault? What is the age at which the right of one family member to hit another family member suddenly becomes a crime?
If we really want to eliminate child abuse we need as a society to be convinced to use other techniques to shape and change children's behaviour. We can't fail to be concerned about the level of violence in society. In England alone about 80 children die each year, from physical abuse at the hand of their parents and carers. So why do some people refuse to see any connection between this and the beginnings of physical punishment of children at home?
There is evidence that many people are changing to a positive non-violent parenting style where respect for the child as a person is the underlying principle. Positive, non-violent parenting focuses on ordinary acceptable everyday behaviour and encourages and affirms it so that children are confident and motivated to go on trying. Parents find out about children's need at different stages of development so that they have realistic expectations. Parents realise that it takes time for children to develop social skills but crucially they know that children learn from the example of adults.
The Churches Network for Non-violence (CNNV) has produced a discussion pack for church communities to explore the issues around smacking, legal reform, positive parenting and taking action at the local level. The Network believes it is time more church communities added their voices to those of others who want to extend the basic human right of freedom from being hit, to their smallest members. The core group meets bi-monthly. All those who share the aims are welcome to join.
CNNV developed out of concern that physical punishment of children, advocated by some Christian groups as integral to Christian Parenting, has largely been unchallenged by the Christian community. The group aims to build a network of support, information and practical resources to assist people to promote positive non-violent discipline.
Explore this topic further:
www.childrenareunbeatable.org.uk
www.nspcc.org.uk
www.endcorporalpunishment.org
www.nospank.net/toc.htm
Christian anti-smacking group USA
Encouraging Positive Discipline from
NSPCC Tel: 020 7825 2775
© 2005 Chris Dodd & Newsline