back to Marriage Preparation and Support articles
There are a number of organisations that publish resources for Marriage preparation and support. Some provide material for a number of sessions – usually 3-6. These are often for use with groups. Three – six couples come together, though a lot of the course is experienced in pairs and through the sharing of findings. Some materials can be used with bigger groups and some with couples alone.
Some have printed materials/booklets for the couples to use
Some use handouts
Some use a lot of words
Some use a wider range of activities to encourage learning
Most are for use face-to-face with a facilitator
One or two can be completed on-line, e.g. Relate Couples
Some courses can be facilitated by a clergy-person or a parish assistant.
Some like you to attend a familiarisation course before using the material
and others require an External Facilitator
CONTENT
Usually includes some or all of these: communication, commitment, conflict/negotiation skills, expectations of marriage, his and her needs, growing through marriage – expressed sometimes as marital stages, emotional aspects of marriage, managing money, relationships with the in-laws, values, division of labour/responsibilities in the home.
Some are more explicitly Chris tian than others.
STYLE
Some courses follow a set pattern though they can be adjusted to fit local needs. Others use a portfolio approach – a pick and mix – to fit local requirements
FLAME Family Life and Marriage Education
If your diocese has a FLAME Officer or group s/he or they may well hold resources, be resource people or know someone who can help you. Some Flame Officers have developed their own materials, sometimes mixing and matching bits of other courses, e.g. Marriage Exploration (Diocese of Exeter). FLAME have also got a marriage preparation pack available from the
FLAME administrator 01622 755014 www.flamefamily.co.uk
Andrew Body (Co-Chair of FLAME) has recently published a book on marriage preparation called Growing Together ISBN 07151 40493.It is aimed at the couple but useful in marriage preparation. Growing together is a practical guide that will help couples to develop a shared understanding of their future together through exploring their dreams and expectations of married life and by highlighting some of the key issues that being married can raise. For this and other resources published by Church House Publishing visit www.chpublishing.co.uk
THE MOTHERS' UNION
Look out for the publication of a book on the spirituality of marriage to be published in late 2006. Some local groups of MU members have developed resources for local use with couples in groups. Journeying Together , a marriage preparation course from the diocese of Salisbury is available from the MU in Salisbury. The MU Relationships Matters resource helps explore a range of relationship issues in a group context.
HOLY TRINITY, BROMPTON – Alpha International
Holy Trinity Brompton Church has produced The Marriage Course and The Marriage Preparation Course, both developed by Nicky and Sila Lee. There are currently over 1,000 Marriage Courses running world-wide, 500 of them in the UK .
The courses are for any married or engaged couple wanting to invest in their marriage. Topics covered include commitment, communication, and resolving conflict. The courses are based on Biblical principles but are suitable for couples from any background.
The courses are available on DVD and Video. There are also Guest and Leaders manuals. Visit www.themarriagecourse.org for more information on resources and a list of courses.
HTB put on regular conferences to train those wanting to run courses. The next one is in March 2006. For more details see http://themarriagecourse.org/conferences/
CARE FOR THE FAMILY
Contact www.care-for-the-family.org.uk
Care for the Family have recently published Connect 2 (£29.99), a course for couples in the first five years of marriage covering lifetime love, communication and difference, resolving conflict, expectations, intimacy, romance and sex.
A new national initiative is the national couple support network, - a partnership between Care for the Family and The Marriage Preparation Course (Holy Trinity Brompton) working with the Community Family Trusts.
The network aims to strengthen marriages by offering engaged couples throughout the country marriage preparation. The plan is to appoint a co-ordinator in each registration district, who will develop a local marriage network. They will contact engaged couples through the register offices and churches, offering a course and a link with a support couple. Co-ordinators aim to encourage and support church leaders in the provision of marriage preparation, making available resources and encouraging them to work together by agreeing a community marriage policy.
For further details of the network please contact the national co-ordinator Katharine Hill at katharine.hill@cff.org.uk
Katharine Hill is also the author along with her husband Richard of Rules of Engagement Lion ISBN 0 74594886 3 suitable for engaged couples.
MARRIAGE CARE
Contact : angela@marriagecare.org.uk
Marriage Care offers courses as part of the marriage preparation process. They are usually held in the network of Centres that they have across the UK. Courses usually last for one day and aim to prepare couples for 'a good celebration of marriage when they make public their private commitment to each other. ‘ The courses focus on the tasks of the partnership (Communication, Conflict Management and Commitment) that are explored in a confidential, secure environment
Some Marriage Care Centres offer FOCCUS – an inventory designed to give engaged couples and those working with them a unique personal profile of what is needed in their pre-marriage programme. This provides ‘a starting point and a map of the issues that need addressing. Marriage Care holds the UK licence for FOCCUS work in any of its Centres and in the Catholic Church in England and Wales.
RELATE
Contact on 01788 563854
www.relate.org.uk for information about their Couples Workshop. This is a facilitated day costing £99.00 per person and it is organised nationally. Other tailor-made sessions can be arranged for churches, e.g. with a focus on second marriage. It is worth contacting your local Relate – they may be able to help with tailor-made courses.
RELATE say
‘We complement spiritual and sacramental preparation with practical skills in communication, conflict management and relationship dynamics training.'
There is lots of information about publications and other relationship training on RELATE's website.
The Prepare/Enrich programme for supporting couples
The Prepare/Enrich programme helps marrying and married couples take stock
of their strengths and growth areas. It provides an integrated package including
practical skills exercises to develop the essentials of better understanding
of each other, alongside improved communication and more effective conflict
resolution.
A days training session will equip you with everything you need to get started,
and provide you with a research based tool that will help you make the most
of your time with your couples. Recently developed online completion of the
inventories, and group feedback options now extend the flexibility of the
programme.
For more information contact the Prepare/Enrich office 023 80216003,
Email prepare-enrich@scft.org.uk or look at our website www.prepare-enrich.co.uk