back to Domestic Violence and Abuse articles
Sheila Fletcher , Exeter, attended a day on domestic violence run by Devon police: A one-day multi-agency course for interested practitioners
To raise awareness of the impact of domestic violence (DV) upon children
and families
To increase understanding of how to offer help and support
To raise standards of practice both individually and collectively
A definition of Domestic violence
Domestic Violence is essentially about the misuse of power and the exercise of control by one person over another within the context of any intimate or close relationship. Such abuse may manifest itself in a variety of ways including physical violence, emotional or psychological abuse, financial control and abuse and the imposition of social isolation or movement deprivation.
Domestic Violence: Systematic patterned behaviour designed, consciously or sub-consciously, to control and dominate a partner/former partner.
NB The abused may be male or female.
Try answering these questions: -
1 How many women a week in England & Wales are killed by their current/ex partner?
2 How many women in the UK will experience domestic abuse in their adult
lives?
Between 1 in 10, 1 in 7, 1 in 4
3 How many calls do the police receive nationally an hour reporting violent
attacks in the home?
10, 20, 30, or 60
4 Alcohol and drugs are the cause of domestic violence
True or False
5 What percentage of abused women is assaulted whilepregnant?
65%, 44%, 27%, 15%
6 What percentage of DV incidents in England and Wales isactually reported
to the police?
80%, 65%, 42%, 25%
7 The elderly and disabled are less likely to be abused
True, False
8 What number of suicides have DV elements?
1 in 10, 1 in 8, 1 in 6, 1 in 4
9 How many child protection cases show a history of DV?
1 in 3, 1 in 7, 1 in 10
10 In families with children, where there is domestic abuse what percentage
of incidents were children present?
90%, 75%, 60%, 45%, 25%
Answers at the bottom of the page
During the day we examined the subtle ways in which abuse can begin to occur and develop; where behaviour progresses from being ‘acceptable', to being controlling, debasing, threatening and then violent. Eg. - ‘It's because I love you …' : ‘I was checking you were all right…' : ‘I'll sort out the money matters for you…' : ‘You know you are no good at doing these things…' : ‘If you loved me you would ………' : ‘You have me, you don't need to see your friends…' : ‘I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry, it won't happen again…' : ‘If you tell anyone I'll hurt the children…' : ‘No one else will want you…' : ‘No one will believe you…' : ‘You are mad, you need to see a psychiatrist…' : etc. The victim often becomes isolated, is constantly criticised, loses confidence, becomes anxious, feels guilty, (‘It must be my fault'), may be physically beaten up - but hides the evidence, loses sleep, becomes depressed and withdrawn, may even be asked to do things that are dehumanising but is too scared to tell the truth to others, and so on. The effects on children were also discussed; children are greatly at risk in these situations - mentally, emotionally and maybe physically.
Friends and family may be suspicious that abusive behaviour is taking place in a relationship but they lack the knowledge, training and confidence to tackle the problem. We role played a friend talking to a victim trying to use gentle, open questions to build up enough trust to enable the person to confide the truth of a situation. The person needs to be taken seriously, needs to know she is safe confiding in you, and needs to have her views and decisions respected. The importance of non-judgemental, empathetic listening was stressed. One must check that it is safe to contact them by letter or by phoning their home. We drew up a list of guidelines for supporting a victim in order that they remain as safe as possible within the relationship, especially at the point of leaving, or subsequent to leaving.
A victim in danger needs to: -
Be totally involved in the decision making process of what to do.
Know where to phone or go to in an emergency.
Be encouraged to share the information with (other) support agencies.
Have a few belongings, some money, and essential documents always to hand, (in a secret place or with a trusted friend); eg passport, birth certificates, benefit book, school and agency numbers etc. (When the time comes the opportunity to leave can be limited and time crucial).
Where a child is at risk one needs to adhere to the Child Protection Guidelines.
We then discussed good practice in responding to the survivors of domestic violence - and pitfalls to avoid. Finally we were given a list of local agencies with relevant contact numbers and addresses.
It was an informative, useful, and a challenging day. I would encourage anyone working with or involved with families to go on a similar training day in their area. It will increase your awareness of these issues, enable you to do something positive about them, and it might even help you save lives.
One woman is killed every 3 days by a partner or ex-partner. H.O.
1in 4 women experience DV at some stage during their lives. BMA '98.
The police receive 60 calls an hour about DV - or 1 every minute of the day.
Alcohol and drugs make it easier to excuse DV. However people who abuse are more likely to use these as a stimulant to assist them in committing DV rather than as a cause. Dept. Health
44% of pregnant women are assaulted. Many women find the abuse starts when they become pregnant.
On average less than 25% of DV incidents are reported to the police. H.O.
It is not true that the elderly or disabled are less likely to be abused. All age groups and people with disabilities are just as likely to be abused. Older women are not always believed or listened to. Dept. Health
1 in 4 suicide attempts have an element of DV
1 in 3 child protection cases show a history of DV to the mother.
Children were found to be present or in the next room in 90% of violent incidents